Driving in the rain

I really don't get it. Driving home from work and its lightly sprinkling and what happens, but suddenly everyone is driving as though they have left the steering wheel behind and are down on the floor looking for the gas pedal, but are only finding the brake pedal. I'm on a two lane road and following behind three people driving 27 mph centered over the dotted white line. What?  Ok, slow down, I understand that. But driving in the middle of the road? Seriously people, you are more dangerous than safe. 

It reminds me of all the people that think driving 60 mph on the highway when rush hour traffic is moving at 80 is the safe thing to do. Just go with the traffic. I have seen so many near-accidents simply because of the person sauntering along while full lanes whiz by around them, so that the car that ends up behind them has to slam their brakes on, and/or swerve to miss them.  At least they are, for the most part, staying in the right hand lane. 

Which brings me to the widespread disorder I have come to both love and hate at the same time: Right Lane Phobia. 

Right Lane Phobia is everywhere. If you were to take an aerial photo of the highways, you would find an average of 4 cars in the left lanes and 1 car in the right lane.  This is an especially frequent occurrence on the multi-lane highways and during heavy traffic on the two-lane highways. It doesn't bug me so much on the multi-lanes, as any savvy driver can dodge and weave to some extent, and (this is why I sometimes love Right Lane Phobia) just cruise down the empty Right Lane.  You can still encounter the driver who insists on staying in the left regardless of whether there is a vehicle in the Right Lane and who consequently appears upset when you pass on the right. Well, if you moved over, then I could pass on the left, and we would all be in a happier (and more legal - ever seen those signs that say, "Stay right except to pass"?) place!  As for the two-lane highways however, when people pass during high-traffic situations, it is especially irritating to be slowly driving along as everyone piles into the Left Lane in a long snake-like line just to pass the one person in the right lane driving - you guessed it - 60 mph. 

I really do wonder about those people sometimes. Are they distracted? Are they afraid of driving? Are they trying to set an example? It's not that I think we all need to drive at 80 all the time, I just think that we should be driving as safe as possible, and when the highway world is moving at one speed, that speed should be maintained by all drivers to some extent. They don't need to drive at 80, but could easily save the screeching tires of passing motorists by increasing their speed just 5-10 mph. 

The same theory goes for the motorists looking to maintain safe driving in the rain.  Maintain normal vehicle operation, decrease speed slightly, but stay - and this is key - in your lane. Don't slam on the brakes - that only causes more accidents as the people behind you have to slam on their brakes and so on and so forth until one person's reaction time is just a smidgen too slow and... you get the picture.  So if you don't freak out when it rains, or when traffic is moving quickly, the rest of us won't have to alter our driving to become equally erratic to avoid you drifting into us, slamming on your brakes, driving 15 mph slower than expected, etc. And all the world will finally be able to make it to our destinations without any damage to our cars, or white knuckles on our hands. 

My Job

So, I think it finally fully dawned on me this morning that this job I am currently in is actually a real, big-time job. I think that I was still in the mind-set I had with my previous job: that while it's the real world,  yes, unfortunately, we all have to work, and yes, work isn't wonderful, but it's just that - a job. And this previous job I had was definitely easy, and definitely meant for the fresh-out-of-college types that had no clue where to go next. My new job, however, is real. While some would say that I am still just a research assistant, I now know that I am much more. I really am a "Research Coordinator" like my ID card reads. I really do have to make sure that Human Subjects will not be harmed in this study, that all protocols are followed, that I get back to people when they call. I have to realize that what I do in this job could have a huge impact on people the world over. Should we find that Drug X in combination with previously used Drug Y relieves to a greater extent Disease Q, then we have just helped to enhance the lives of many sufferers of Disease Q.   And that is how research goes, and compared to the research I was doing before: Lexical processing in the brain... which tells us that - you got it - older adults have slower processing times, but better vocabulary than young adults!  

Suffice to say I am now realizing that I have vested interested in my job and how well I do it. I no  longer wake up and feel that anyone else could be in that place doing my job (not to say that I am amazing at it, just that I feel I am actually an important part of the research, which is an important part of my boss's job and position as Chair of the Department, and if I don't do my job there are a LOT of people that will be quite upset with me. And if I do my job well, there will be quite a lot of people that will be very pleased with me.). 

So now that I have realized that this job is a real job and that I actually get up and go to work for the job, and not just for the fact that I need to go so that I get a paycheck, I am finding it easier to complete my job in terms of personal satisfaction. That being said, I still can't manage to get up early and get here at a reasonable hour, or help but feel that I just want a day off!

The value of a sister

As my wedding date draws near, and the girls that I've selected to be my bridesmaids have talked with me and each other about various elements of the wedding, I've realized over and over again how profoundly grateful I am that I chose my sister to be my matron of honor (Best Woman, actually, since she doesn't want to be called a "Matron of Honor", and I have to agree - not only does it sound so haughty, but it also connotes such womanliness as to give mind to a tired mother of six).  I say this not because any of the other girls have done anything wrong, or because my sister has been particularly amazing, but because I find that on any level, I will agree with her tastes, styles, opinions, advice, and mindset far more often. As much as one loves their friends, you cannot find a bond among friends as strong as sisterhood. No matter how close you are. Some of you may say otherwise, and it could very well be true, but I would like to believe that for many this is as true for them as it is for me. 

I can't quite write out what exactly it is that has made me realize this, only to say that we can both laugh at each other and ourselves and even the shyest and most reserved part of us is okay with that. We can assert differing opinions and don't have to back them up years of accumulated knowledge, because our knowledge is the same, even though we have been living apart for the past eight years.  

As an aside, I feel I must add this here: I have two sisters, with my older sister being the "best woman".   She is already married, and I was her maid of honor. My younger sister is wild and carefree and I have designated her sub maid of honor in respect to the fact that she is my sister and I share the same bond with her as I do with my older sister.   Now when you see me talk of my sisters, you will know to whom I refer. 

I feel that I can talk to either of my sisters and they will understand where I am coming from. And if I complain, they won't misinterpret it, or go off babbling to others for me to find that the meaning has somehow been misconstrued along the way, and Friend X on the other side of the country will hear that I hate pink, when in fact, all i said is, "i don't want pink".... 

A wedding is supposed to be a celebration of love, of lasting friendship, and can be a great time to reform lost bonds, strengthen those already present, and create new and fun memories. For some it becomes a time of lost friendships, and new anger between family members.  Unfortunate and ironic as it is, I have found that with some people engagement periods can put even the strongest of friendships on thin ground.  And while I have found that, "Wow, that's not what I'd pick" or "Could that bridesmaid be any bossier?!" happens, I see it happening more between myself and my friends than between myself and my sisters.  And I am content that I have put my sisters in this closer, and dare I say more stressful, situation. So that should an argument erupt, I know that my friends will be a safe distance away from it that our relationship will not be harmed, and that the bond between my sister and me is stronger than any argument (and even if it is temporarily cut, will mend itself, usually quickly).  

So in conclusion, I can only say that if you are thinking of choosing a friend over a sister for this position, put some extra thought into it, for you will find over the course of preparing for your wedding that no matter what happens, no matter how acrimonious arguments can get or how much you disagree (or the opposite of all these!), a friendship may be shattered, but a sister will always love you.